Optimism is not exactly my natural way of thinking…..I’m
much more of a cynic. I blame it on my dad who, when I asked for the definition
of optimism for a school assignment in the third grade, told me it is “not
knowing all the facts.”
Anyways, here I am today. Reveling in this unfamiliar
optimistic revelation: This will be the
first time, EVER, that I have taken two semesters of college coursework in a
row.
This is a pretty significant accomplishment for me, at least
existentially; I am finally choosing to go down the path of higher education,
and I seem to have found the ‘right’ major in Psychology – a sort of agreement
between the liberal arts and science.
I do view this ‘accomplishment’ with some hesitation as I
only took one class this past semester, but I did simultaneously move out of my
parent’s home and into an apartment near campus where I was able to gain some
more independence. More significantly, I had to overcome my grandfather’s deterioration
and ultimate death during the semester.
The class I took was fairly challenging, and I actually
found it to be somewhat enjoyable. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it if I
was taking any other classes additionally; I would have been too focused on the
stress of the classes and would not have been able to take the time to revel in
the content and the analyses of what I was learning.
I did spend a fair amount of time coming back to my parents’
home, but that’s OK. Considering everything that went on this past semester, I
think it made sense that I sought comfort in my parents and in the house I was
most familiar with. It’s all about baby steps. And the baby step I am taking
this upcoming semester is adding on a second class to my workload. I’m pretty
certain I will be able to handle it.
Now, I’m even looking forward to graduate school; I have a
relatively short-term plan and then a long-term, sort of, back-up plan: The short term plan is to earn a MSSW. The long-term
plan is to earn a Ph.D. in Psychology and use it in some way. As of right now I
envision opening my own private practice. But now I have planS and OPTIONS.
Things feel right. I don’t feel trapped.
I hope to meet with an advisor tomorrow to figure out
exactly how long it will take me to earn my bachelor’s degree, but even though
I’m in a bit of a rush to get it, I still want to enjoy my undergraduate
experience. I want to become, at least, a little more involved in the school. I
pretty much have to if I want to get into graduate school.
Although this whole optimism thing is foreign to me, it
doesn’t mean it’s bad. Maybe it just means that I know all the relevant facts.
